gotta run, gotta hide // TYRON

[CARTER LYNN JACKSON]

somethings i cannot change

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BUT TILL I TRY I'LL NEVER KNOW -- -- -- -- -- -- --[/center]

"you're comin' home, carter."

"NO!"

that was really all that she remembered from their conversation before she had bolted from her dorm room back at the college, suddenly glad that she had no kicked her shoes off after wandering back. he'd been sitting there, perching on the end of her bed to wait for her. how had he managed to find her? apparently he paid a visit to olivia and nathaniel, who had accidentally let slip to his uncle where exactly he could find carter. the poor kid hadn't known that she had basically run away from kentucky, and why would he? it wasn't a topic that would have been discussed over dinner, and she knew that olivia wouldn't have been happy if she had learned the truth behind her cousin's appearance in the big city. but carter had thought that she had some more time before he came to search for her, if he did at all, hoping and praying that she would be safe to stay around the city a little longer. if not for school, then at least for tyron....

it was much harder to run in a pair of ballet flats then it looked, and carter was constantly having to worry about them falling off of her feet until she reached about halfway through central park, where she pulled them from her feet and continued to run with both shoes held tightly in her hands. her heart was pounding, her feet and legs beginning to tire from the strain of so much physical exercise at once, but she refused to let up. the more distance she put between them, the safer she would be. where was she going? she didn't know and she didn't care. all she could hear was her father's voice ringing in her ears, calling out her name as he tried to follow her down through the dormitory house until she managed to lose him in the crowded streets of new york. it had been the only thing that she could think of, and as far as it looked, she'd managed to escape him. unable to run any further, carter collapsed on a bench, leaning so far forward that her chest was pressed against her legs as she struggled to breathe.

she hadn't seen him...hadn't heard from him and suddenly he appeared at the school demanding that she return home with him. she didn't belong there, he had said to her. she belonged back home in kentucky with the rest of their family, not trying her luck in some city where she'd never make it. those words stung, so much in fact that they were what prompted her to run. and run she had. now she was hunched over on the brooklyn bridge, probably being stared at by hundreds of people as she struggled to hold back her tears. yes, tears. carter jackson, the country girl with thick skin was finally beginning to feel the pressure of her situation. but the worst part of it all wasn't that her father would more then likely win and take her home. no, it was the fact that she'd probably never get a chance to see tyron again and apologize for the way she had acted at the barn.

and the way things were now, it was already too late. as soon as her father managed to catch up with her, carter knew there would be no second chance for escape. he'd take her home, one way or another. and then her dreams would come to an end...no more broadway, no more music, no more tyron. she didn't know which one hurt more.

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[TYRON ROBERT ROBINSON]

_{There will be times on this journey, all you'll see is darkness. Out there somewhere daylight finds you, if you
keep believing. So don't run, don't hide, it will be all right. You'll see, trust me. I'll be there watching over you.
Just take a look through my eyes, there's a better place somewhere out there. Just take a look through my eyes}

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Tyron had listen to the opinion of those around him. He’d called up his therapist, and his parents. Just to tell them he wasn’t feeling all that hot as of late. He knew why that was, and the reason was a pretty brunette that kept invading his thoughts. No matter what he argued with his brain he never was able to settled the argument. Part of his argued to go after her, part of him said it was disrespectful to Beth, and the other part said that what he was doing was perfect, that all he needed was a friend. He didn’t want a friend though. Well… He did, which is why he’d invited her to the trails in the first part. But that day he’d let his attraction to her get out of hand. He was suffering for that choice now, which only made him wonder how she felt. He hadn’t dared ask though, which was why he hadn’t spoken to her in says since the trail ride. He felt guilty, but everytime he went to try and talk to her, or anything he’d back out. Maybe it was better for her if he faded away? He didn’t know. It was really all Leon’s fault for forcing her his way, what was his cousin thinking…? But he did have the best in mind… But his therapist had suggested company of the nonhuman sort. A dog.

So, with his parents permission and agreement that it was a good idea, he’d gone to the nearest shelter to find a dog. He’d taken a couple trips back throughout the week he spent on his own, debating a few dogs before he’d chosen a Pointer cross who was six months. He was still a playful pup, but he was trained and fairly well behaved. Tyron was not a dog person for the most part, so it’d taken a while to really sign those forms and take the fellow home. But since the first night when the white and black guy snuggled up against his back he’d kinda fallen for him. Until the accidents on the carpet… It was really turning into a love/hate thing. But that was good, his therapist said to just keep emotions going, open up to the dog, and he might open up to the rest of the world. So. Cooper was his test subject. One with a lot of hair… Bonus was, he needed to be walked for forty-five minutes, so it went well with Tyron’s morning and evening jogs. Gave him company at least. “Come on Coop, let’s go for a walk.” The dark haired twenty-one year old called from the front door of his apartment, leash in hand. The dog barrelled through the house and skidded to a stop at his feet, tail a wagging. At least they had some things in common.

For some reason Tyron decided to walk along Brooklyn Bridge. There was no real reason for it, except that he wanted to get Cooper over his skittish behaviour towards cars. The little guy had been hit when he was little and lost a leg to it, so he was very wary of vehicles. Which made it nearly impossible to get him into the car, he had to be lifted and shoved in. And he was only half grown, it’d be fun to do that with a full grown dog… So he’d got Cooper in the back of his car and decided that a bridge would force Cooper to walk with the cars. So it was a win-win. So far, it seemed to be helping. He’d been rather tense and had his tail between his legs for the first few minutes, but sense had relaxed quite a bit. “That’s a good boy.” He told the dog, reaching down to give his head a scratch. He received a tail wag in response before the dog got distracted by a person ahead. As always, he was keen on meeting new people.

So with a tug the Pointer mutt pulled towards the nearest bench, ears perked and tail moving a mile a minute. Tyron pulled back on the leash to keep some distance between them, not everyone was keen on meeting Cooper. However, as Tyron neared the bench he moved toward it instead of away. It was a girl, leaned over and sounding rather out of breath. He had intended to make sure she was alright, but found himself stiffen slightly as he saw her face, his chest giving a squeeze. He took a second then swallowed roughly before he could speak. “Carter?” He asked, though he knew full well it was her. He moved until he was about three feet away, holding onto Cooper’s collar to keep the dog from pretty much hopping in her lap… He was a pup, but he was too big for that despite his need to. “Are you okay?” He asked her, glancing at her bare feet briefly before back to her. What was she doing out all alone again? It wasn’t late yet… But it would get that way fast since she didn’t have a car to drive home in like he did.

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Cred: Me || Song: Look Through My Eyes, Phil Collins cause I’m lazeh|| Words: 850 || Tag: Carter

[CARTER LYNN JACKSON]

somethings i cannot change

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BUT TILL I TRY I'LL NEVER KNOW -- -- -- -- -- -- --[/center]

she was beginning to wonder if someone or something higher was attempting to tell her something by this point. she'd been in new york only a short while before leon had approached her to ask for her help. a few days after that she had run into tyron by chance in central park, when neither one of them could sleep at two in the morning. and within days of that first encounter he had asked her to go with him on a trail ride, something that had turned out to be a little more then a simplel ride with a friend. of course they were still friends though, or so she had hoped after a few episodes of falling from horses, being knocked over by said horses and then kissing one another in the river. it had been one of the most emotionally confusing rollar coaster rides of her life, but it was one that she was wishing she could relive now that she would have to return to kentucky. did she want to go? if it was any indication, her father would have to drag her back kicking and screaming.

but of all the voices to hear, carter heard tyron's say her name, and instantly her eyes looked up, straight out over the waters beneath the bridge. she truely was going insane, she thought to herself, hearing his voice in her head. it wasn't until he asked if she was okay that she finally registered his actual presence there and turned wide-eyed to face him, quickly running a hand across her face to wipe away any fallen tears. now was not the time to appear as she did, which she was pretty sure the worst state of distress he had yet seen her in, and carter was internally ashamed for having come to such a public place to break down. her chest still heaved from the effort of her run, rising and falling in a steady succession as she attempted to calm herself with slow, chopping breaths.

"tyron," she choked, blinking quickly. "what are you doin' here?"

maybe this would be more painful then she had imagined, carter thought. she had pictured a last goodbye as brief and heartwrenching, but still tolerable enough that she could handle it without becoming an emotional mess. and in truth, she hadn't expected ever to see him again. she'd have called leon to tell him what was going on and hoped that the message would have been sent to tyron somehow, more then likely once she had been dragged back home. but time was short as it was, and carter slowly rose to her feet, abandoning her flats on the bench. she was so intently focused on him that she didn't see the dog at first, hearing him as if he was something in the distance and not a creature bouncing around right before her eyes. but eventually her eyes drifted to the dog...and then back up to tyron.

"kinda late for a walk, doncha think?" she asked, attempting to keep her voice level.

oh yeah, brilliantly said carter, berated the voice. so not only does he know that something's wrong, but he can probably see it in your eyes. she quickly brushed another hand under her eyes, catching a stray tear. she wasn't looking forward to explaining this to him at all.

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[TYRON ROBERT ROBINSON]

_{There will be times on this journey, all you'll see is darkness. Out there somewhere daylight finds you, if you
keep believing. So don't run, don't hide, it will be all right. You'll see, trust me. I'll be there watching over you.
Just take a look through my eyes, there's a better place somewhere out there. Just take a look through my eyes}

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At first it was like she hadn’t even noticed he was there. Did she think she was imagining his presence or something? Or had he spoken that softly? He didn’t know. But being near her made him feel more emotions at once then he was used to… he was used to the sad, and anger. That was it. Seeing her again brought back guilt, gut wrenching guilt as well as hurt. But even despite those he couldn’t help but feel a swell of joy at seeing her again. No matter the fact he’d chosen to remain friends with her, nothing more it’d been easier for him to just not contact her. Not feel the guilt, not hear her voice. He didn’t like the feelings and attraction he had to her. They still set off his ‘team Beth’ part of his mind, and the thought of her had done that all week. And now, being near her again he felt able to shove the memories and insults aside. However… When she did finally notice his presence all the things he was feeling were shoved aside sharply for concern. She had been crying. The evidence was on her face though she quickly wiped the tears away… But he’d been around Beth long enough to know when a girl was crying, their eyes made it obvious. And if anything both made Tyron a mush lacking all will, it was tears.

“I was just taking Cooper for a walk…” he replied to her question of why he was there. It was really weird to him, and one crazy coincidence that they met up again. It was sheer luck they’d met up in Central Park, and it was even weirder to find her here. There were so many people in New York, what were the chances of him stumbling upon someone he knew, nevermind… Carter. Carter. That was what he’d go with, it was a safer thought then most of the other thoughts he could think about her. She noted the time and he nearly rolled his eyes. Nearly. It had been far later when they met in Central park, it could definitely be a lot later then it was. Besides, he was a guy very capable of protecting himself and to add to that he had a hound dog at his side. Safe as can be compared to a thin, crying girl the size and stature of Carter.

“I like walking at night. Besides, puts this guy to sleep.” he told her, reaching down to pat one of Cooper’s narrow sides. He stepped forward to sit tenderly beside Carter, keeping half a foot between them. He kept Cooper on the other side of him, beside the bench and away from Carter… Despite the dog’s agitation to meet her. He watched her raise a hand, obviously wiping more tears before he could see them. Without a thought he reached forward to grab the hand, furrowing his brows slightly as he wrapped his fingers around hers. He let his dark gaze focus on her face as his concern came back full force. “What’s wrong, Carter? Why are you crying?” he asked her, his voice soft, curious and concerned. He wanted to know why she was crying, why she was crying so far from home… He’d picked her up, he knew where she lived, so did she run all the way to Brooklyn Bridge? Some might say he was overly concerned about her… That he’d known her such a short time that it was ridiculous… But no matter how short a time it was, she was still one of his closest and only friends. Besides… His feelings towards her didn’t help that either.

“Don’t try and get away with a ‘nothing’ response either…” He added after a second, giving her fingers a gentle, comforting squeeze. There was a reason she was upset, and nothing bothered him like someone pretending they weren’t upset. Yes, that made him the biggest hypocrite in the world… But in his defence back when he did hide how he was feeling (or tried to anyway) he really hadn’t cared too much about other people’s feelings… just himself, his own and how he was dealing with them… Or not.

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Cred: Me || Song: Look Through My Eyes, Phil Collins cause I’m lazeh|| Words: 709 FAIL Dx || Tag: Carter

[CARTER LYNN JACKSON]

somethings i cannot change

[/colour][/size]
BUT TILL I TRY I'LL NEVER KNOW -- -- -- -- -- -- --[/center]

finding him suddenly so close to her after the time they had spent apart was a pretty nasty shock to her system, although it had only been days since she had seen him on the trails and made a complete idiot of herself. she had told him that things between them would not change, that she would continued to remain his friend, but clearly things had begun to change. it was comforting to see him around her again, to be able to look at his warm, dark coloured eyes without having to resort to memories, and yet it was slightly unsettling at the same time. he had such a profound effect over her that carter felt her breathing hitch a little when she fully came to realize that he was standing there, only a short distance from herself with the dog at his side. needless to say, she was slightly unsure of what to make of the dog that she had never seen or heard of before.

cooper, that was his name, or so tyron had said. she could have kicked herself when she asked about the time, especially since she knew that while at least he had company to ward off any sketchy people around the bridge, carter was on her own, and currently shoeless. it had been so much later when they had first met, about two in the morning when the only light you could see in central park was the flickering streetlight that had been nearby and constantly plunging them in and out of pure darkness. as it was now, the brooklyn bridge was brightly lit, and there were a few people still wandering up and down both sides of the street, so it wasn't as if she was all alone. but in the way that he sat down, grabbing ahold of her hand, carter knew that she wouldn't be able to get away with such an explaination. and apparently he wasn't willing to accept that it was nothing either.

she squeezed her eyes shut, tightening her fingers around his hand when she felt his gentle squeeze send the fires up her arm. "he was waitin' for me when i came home from classes," she said in her broken tone, eyes dropping down to her free hand. "daddy, he...he wants me to go back to kentucky..."

why did it hurt so much to tell him the truth? of course, carter was more then aware of why it was hard to be around him right then, but she had decided that she would put her own feelings aside. after all, he said that it would be safer for them to remain friends, right? and she didn't have any right to expect anything more, especially after the short amount of time they had spent together. this wasn't some kind of movie or fairytale where the hero and heroine got together at the end of the movie or stuck together no matter what was thrown their way, this was real life. and in real life, carter had to accept the fact that tyron wished to remain friends. why was that so hard? well, the fact that someone was trying to take her away didn't exactly make things better, now did it?

suck it up! it wasn't like you had any chance with this boy anyway. carter silently cursed the voice in the back of her head, wishing that she could throw it off the edge of the brooklyn bridge and forever be done with its endless ranting and raving. her logical, common sense seemed to ruin more for her then she would have liked, and it was really beginning to eat away at her last nerve. just once, just once she wished that someone would throw her a bone and let her be happy. even if it meant that she remained good friends with the boy, why wasn't she allowed to have even that? but no, the butterflies slowly returned as she held onto his hand, ducking her head to hide the new wave of tears that silently fell from her eyes.

the brunette shook her curly head. "but i can't go," she said quickly. "i can't just leave. i can handle leavin' behind my dream but i can't..."

no, don't finish that sentence, the voice warned. it would only succeed in making things worse for the both of them, especially since she knew that telling him the truth wouldn't be all that helpful anyway. from what leon had said, his depression had been a rather scary experience, one that tyron seemed to slowly be getting past. if she were to be the cause of his falling back into that vicious cycle, carter would never forgive herself.

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[TYRON ROBERT ROBINSON]

_{As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight, high off her love, drunk from my hate, it's like I'm huffin'
pain and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate and right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me}

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Tyron wanted to smack himself, wanted to smack his head against the nearest iron beam. Why? Because despite what he told her, despite what he told himself the feeling of her small, cool fingers against his sent a wave of goose bumps up his arm, all the way to his elbow where they dwindled off. He hated it. Not the feeling, not her… But the way he was helpless to react that way, that he couldn’t force his body to stop reacting like that. How was he supposed to take the kiss back, and stay friends if he couldn’t hold onto her hand without his chest giving a squeeze as pins and needles shot up his arm? He didn’t know how he was supposed to do that, and it irritated him. Perhaps that was the wrong word choice… Frustrated. It frustrated him. That was definitely what he’d meant. It was frustrating not only to him, but to the memories of Beth. And yet he still pushed the memories away, choosing instead to pull up other memories. Not that the memory he chose was too much better at settling him… In fact, it just mirrored the fact that it was killing him to sit so far away from her.

Her dad. Right. He had to do a quick mental review before he understood what she was talking about. She hadn’t told anyone that she was leaving, so her Father must have taken it into his hands to find her. So… was she on the run from him then, trying to avoid getting dragged around to pack, then leave? He didn’t know, but it bothered him a lot that her father wanted to drag her away from where she could fulfill her dreams. His stomach gave a squirm as he realized just how far Kentucky was… If she did end up leaving, he’d have to say goodbye…He didn’t reply right away, instead watched with growing pity as she ducked her head, no doubt trying to hide more tears from him. She did continue to speak, though it really wasn’t anything he hadn’t guessed. He could understand that she didn’t want to leave… Heck, if he went to that much effort to go somewhere, he wouldn’t leave without a fight. Then again… His parents seemed a little more open in that way then hers were. Definitely sure that he wouldn’t have to run away anywhere.

He ducked his head quickly, pulling his hand from hers to tie Cooper to the bench’s leg. He looped the leash tightly then lowered his palm towards the Pointer’s head. It was the ‘lay down’ command and the pup dropped to the ground quickly, tail wagging. Tyron gave the dog a pat, uttering a quick compliment on the well behaved listening then turned back to Carter, clenching his hands into fists for a moment. He knew what he wanted to do, he wanted to comfort her… But would that make it worse? If she was leaving, it wasn’t like he’d have to worry about it being awkward afterwards he reminded himself bitterly. And as selfish as it was… He really, really wanted to. So he went for it. He raised his hands slowly to cup one side of her face, and gently applied pressure to try and turn her gaze up towards his as his other hand gently moved to wipe away her tears. It was almost cheesy… But he didn’t care too much right then, his concern was to stop her tears before she drown in them.

“Hey, shhhh.” He said quietly, furrowing his brows once more, “You’re an adult, Carter. If you don’t want to leave you don’t have to… You’ve got a dream here, and if you really want to make it come true you can make it work.” He told her in a gentle voice. He didn’t really know what else to tell her… he didn’t know what else there was to say. He didn’t know her parents, he didn’t know if her father would physically drag her back down south or if she could reason with him. He had no idea, and until he knew, he didn’t know what else he was supposed to say in terms of advice. He had nothing. And that was really, really frustrating… he hated not knowing what to say when it needed to… At least… At this point in time.

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Cred: Me || Song: Look Through My Eyes, Phil Collins cause I’m lazeh|| Words: 735 || Tag: Carter

[CARTER LYNN JACKSON]

somethings i cannot change

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BUT TILL I TRY I'LL NEVER KNOW -- -- -- -- -- -- --[/center]

the instant she felt his hand slip out of hers, carter brought both of them up to her face, trying to hide the tears behind the pale skin of her hands. it was embarassing for her to be seen in this state by anyone, and it was suddenly worse when she knew that it was tyron who saw her. a quiet sob pushed past her lips, causing the girl to curl up a little more against herself and pull back. she felt like the world's biggest fool, unable to stand up to her father and win, unable to keep it together in front of tyron. his presence wasn't making it worse, but it definitely wasn't helping carter keep her inner turmoil to herself. she probably wasn't making things any easier on him either, letting him see her like that. girls were naturally emotional, she knew that because she was a girl, but they weren't all tall, blonde and fountains of emotion that were ready to erupt when the smallest little thing went wrong. she was normally so much better at keeping her sadness to herself.

her eyes slowly lifted at the gentle command of his hand, feeling her own fall away as he gently brushed her tears from her cheeks with his free hand. the tingling sensation was back in her face with a vengence, moving its way down her spine until it managed to make its way through her entire body. it was ridiculous when she thought of just how easy it was for her body to react to him. did that make her desperate? or trashy like some of the girls she went to school with everyday? she certainly hoped not, thinking that she'd been brought up so much better then that. but despite herself, carter leaned forward a little and wrapped her arms around his neck, gently burying her face against his shoulder. the tears were slowly beginning to subside, which was a good thing, but it still made her feel vulnerable in a way that she did not like.

"i don't want to leave you," she whispered softly. "i promised leon that i'd try to help you, and i am, tyron. i really am, but..."

catching herself, carter came to notice the awkward way that she had stretched herself across the space between them and slowly leaned back, letting her hands rest lightly on his shoulders instead. her cheeks were flushed between her tears and her evident embarassment, prompting the girl to drop her eyes in modesty. no, now was not the time for that. there was no time for such words and feelings. none of that, demanded the voice. no right....damage...hurt...all those words seemed to swarm together in her mind and prevent carter from saying anything else to him. but she shook her head a little, instead searching for something else to say that wouldn't make the situation any worse then it already was.

"i'm sorry," she murmured, letting her hands slide down his arms and back into her lap. "i shouldn't have...i didn't mean..."

well, so much for that she thought bitterly. now she wasn't even able to put together a thought that sounded like it made sense. wonderful. if tyron didn't think she was an idiot yet then he certainly would now. and she had nobody to blame but herself for the fact that she couldn't speak. sure, she was affected by the fact that he had reached out to her, sending the shivers coursing down her spine, but in reality she was the one who let herself react, right? and what else was there for her to do? at that moment, carter felt so lost that she probably couldn't even have found the shoes that were sitting right beside her on the bench. now that was pathetic.

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[TYRON ROBERT ROBINSON]

_{As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight, high off her love, drunk from my hate, it's like I'm huffin'
pain and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate and right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me}

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Tyron couldn’t decide whether her actions were good for him, or not. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he felt her face against his shoulder. He didn’t move, felt his breath catch in his chest more out of shock then anything. He felt her tears soak into his shirt as the sound of her sob echoed horribly in his ears. He didn’t really know what to do at first, he couldn’t believe she had just collapsed on him like that. Not that he was going to complain… Despite her tears some horrible part of him couldn’t help but purr inside at the fact that he could feel her arms around his neck, that she was right there. He lifted a hand to gently wrap it around her upper back, in an attempt to comfort her. She spoke and her words caused him to blink in surprise. She didn’t want to leave him? Because she wanted to help him. Well that pretty much proved what he’d thought from the start, that Leon had put her up to helping him. And look what happened, he’d managed to snag her in a deeper way than friendship without trying… And now he was holding her as she was in tears. Fantastic.

Fire trailed along the skin where her fingers touched as she pulled away. First they rested on his shoulders as he silently considered her words, unsure what to say… Not to mention she seemed to drift off midsentence again. He hadn’t questioned her before, and he certainly wasn’t going to pry this time. The warmth trailed along as her hands moved down his arms, all the way down until they left his body completely to rest in her lap. The warmth remained for a few moments, but eventually chilled with the breeze. She mumbled the rest of her sentence… Sort of and he blinked, slowly furrowing his brows in confusion. Her gaze dropped again, and he supposed it was for the same reason that her cheeks were flushed pink. She was embarrassed… He wasn’t sure why though, whether it was her hug, whether it was his presence period after the river, whether it was that he’d caught her crying… He didn’t know why, but he was under the assumption that something had her embarrassed.

“I told you that you didn’t have to pretend it didn’t mean anything…” He spoke slowly. He was pretty sure she’d figure out what he meant by that. He wasn’t stupid… He could put her words together, part of her might have wanted to stay and help him… But he could tell by her apology that there was more to helping him then just the helping. And he’d known this would happen if he kissed her… He wasn’t stupid, and he knew that a not so social girl like Carter would hold something like that kiss dear. Even if it might have seemed like something really simple to him… What was he thinking? That kiss had been on his mind more then his school work every day in class, every time he worked out, every time he went for a walk. Beth’s ghost wasn’t the only thing tailing him now. And he wasn’t sure which was more painful, the memory of Beth, or the hurt in Carter’s eyes when he said ‘just friends’. “If there’s more to staying then acting and helping me, you don’t need to apologize for it.” He mumbled, turning his gaze away, towards the far end of the bridge.

It was ridiculous how he felt at that moment. Despite all his self spoken words, all his decision, the temptation of her lips less then a feet away was hard to ignore. It was selfish and he hated it… But it wasn’t just kissing her that he wanted, he wanted to hold her in his arms, and tell her everything would be fine. He didn’t know why, she was almost a stranger… But he did. And it did bother him that he’d felt like that after so little time… “Aren’t you cold up here? Not wearing shoes or a jacket?” He asked her, once more shrugging out of the coat he was wearing, again his leather coat. He shifted closer to her to drop it over her shoulders, giving her a small smile that asked her not to decline or try and give it back. She was upset, and smaller then him and definitely required it more. “I must have known I’d meet up with you, wore a sweater underneath this time.” He teased lightly, plucking at the old, worn gray sweater that hung on his form.

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Cred: Me || Song: Look Through My Eyes, Phil Collins cause I’m lazeh|| Words: 777 || Tag: Carter

[CARTER LYNN JACKSON]

somethings i cannot change

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BUT TILL I TRY I'LL NEVER KNOW -- -- -- -- -- -- --[/center]

again she was hit with the burn of having one of his arms holding onto her body lightly, and again carter found that her throat was beginning to swell against the tears that she held back. cowgirl's didn't cry, she reminded herself. she wasn't just another girl who let out the waterworks the instant something bothered her or something said something that was slightly upsetting, she was tougher then that! and while her obviously different anatomy proved to the world that she was indeed female, she also had something else to prove. that she could handle whatever pressures came her way. show business wouldn't be that easy, people wouldn't want her to succeed all the time and not everyone would be willing to give her a hand when she needed it. the world was a cold, cruel place just like her daddy had said, but there was the ocassional warmth that radiated from a single soul who reached out to people, and despite the way things had begun...tyron was one of those people.

didn't need to apologize, was he insane? or was he as stereotypically oblivious as the rest of the male population seemed to be? if he had any idea of what she was feeling when she was around him, then he might have thought differently about telling her that she needn't apologize for the things that she was feeling. did that even make sense? her mind was so confused and re-thinking over every little detail that carter could hardly manage to keep things straight in her head anymore, which was rather annoying to say the least. she hated not having the control that she normally had over her life, the chance to stand up and walk away or handle whatever came at her. true, the choice was always there, but this time there was something that was holding her back, another little voice that seemed to emerge whenever she was around tyron. it was helpful to her cause, but created some nasty headaches when it battled the voice of her common sense.

"i'm not pretendin' that it didn't," she whispered softly, lifting her face to catch his eye again despite the fact that hers were still burning a little. "i've never pretended that it didn't. but i'm not the only person involved here...and what you feel is more important then what i'm feelin'. it doesn't make any sense, i know....but please...just trust me."

she felt like she was asking a lot of him, a near perfect stranger who had not only started to open up to her, but had kissed her only a short while ago. but if she didn't then she'd probably put him through the same emotional spin that she herself was currently feeling, and that wasn't fair. okay, so life wasn't fair, she had to accept that fact. but what she was asking of him was just a little bit more then "hey, how do you feel about me" or "can you give me some space." it wasn't just her own feelings that were playing the game here, but his as well. whether he wanted to admit to it, or anything for that matter, was entirely up to him. as it was, she knew that she had to pull herself away in order to keep things at the "just friends" level that he had requested, whether she liked it or not.

she opened her mouth to protest as he shrugged the leather jacket from his body once again, managing only the smallest of sounds before he had shifted closer to her and drapped it around her shoulders. after a moment, carter allowed a soft, thankful smile to grace her lips. this was the second time that he was proving to be her knight in shining...leather armour, not because he had to, but because he felt it was the right thing to do. caring about someone else was a great way to get out of a depression, right? it was a stepping stone on the road to recovery, which was why, like that first night, carter stopped herself from refusing it and trying to give it back. she'd learned quickly not to bother, and she couldn't help but laugh softly as he pulled at the grey sweater on his body, causing her eyes to momentarily follow his hand before they dropped again. oh yes, history certainly did repeat itself.

"thank you," the girl murmured gently. "it's easier to run without the shoes."

mentally, she cringed. admitting that she had been running might not have been the wisest idea on her part, but it was a little late to take that back now. they were close enough that he'd probably heard her, which meant that if he asked, she would more then likely answer with the truth. she'd been running away from her father, who had tried to catch her before she had dodged him in a crowd of new yorkers on the streets. oh yeah, she was a fantastic daughter, huh?

"i guess it's a good thin' i'm not overly religious," came the quick cover. "otherwise that might mean something."

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[TYRON ROBERT ROBINSON]

_{As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight, high off her love, drunk from my hate, it's like I'm huffin'
pain and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate and right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me}

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Her words didn’t help Tyron. It wasn’t nothing to either of them, obviously. And yet he still held her at arm’s distance so to speak. Why? Because he felt it was better for her… It was better for her not to have to deal with his constant memories of Beth. Better not to deal with the risk of depression, the risk of losing him. That and he was scared. He might not have admitted that to himself before, but that was why he’d continued his antisocial ways even after out of his cycle. He was scared to get attached only to lose someone, be it friend or more. It was a paranoid thought, the fear of losing those close to you, but it terrified him… But who was he kidding, even after such a small amount of time, if something –god forbid- did happen to Carter, it would hurt just as much as if he did go the next level. So why didn’t he? Beth. Beth was in the way, blocking his path… And maybe she always had. But he did trust Carter to understand that she was only returning his feelings… Caring more for him then herself, the same as him though opposite. Of course… Which just made it harder.

“I trust you… But I don’t believe that I mean anymore then you do.” He replied, meeting her gaze as she lifted it. He couldn’t understand what it was about her… But it drove him crazy in a way that wasn’t normal. He’d only ever felt that way once, and though he’d give anything for that happiness again… There was more to consider then there was then. Though bonus was, she did accept his jacket without any argument. It made life so much easier when girls just accepted what was offered. Though her thanks was followed by a comment that verified his thoughts on her running all the way here. But running without her shoes on? That seemed just a little unsafe… He might have said something, but he wasn’t her caretaker, pointing out that someone could rape her while she walked through Central Park at one in the morning was one thing. Telling her to wear shoes was another, she obviously had her reasons and he wasn’t going to get involved in that.

“I’ll give you a ride to... Wherever you need to go when you’re done here, “ He offered, giving her a small smile of encouragement to just take the offer. He didn’t want her just walking around… Though he was curious where she was planning to go, if her dad could be waiting at her dorm for her. As selfish as it was, he didn’t want her leaving either. At least not before he explained exactly what he felt towards her, not until he explained exactly why he wasn’t responding to those feelings like he should have. “Do you have somewhere you’re thinking of staying while you’re on the run?” He asked her before he could really stop himself. What could he say? He did care about her. A lot more then she thought he did. He adjusted the coat around her as he spoke, pulling on the collar to get it as snug around her smaller form as he could. The breeze went right through his sweater, but he paid it no mind. He was tough enough to live through some chilly winds.

“What do you mean?” He asked her in regards to her comment about it being good that she was not overly religious. He didn’t understand what she meant by that... At all… Normally he might have just gone with the flow, but not with Carter. As always she was the only exception. She meant more to him than that, so he’d always ask for an explanation when he didn’t understand, or was confused. Maybe it was just to hear her voice… Who knew. He leaned back against the bench, running a hand through his hair as he watched her for signs of more tears. He didn’t shuffle back to where he was sitting, instead he stayed closer to her, if only to try and comfort her against her tears and upset state of being.

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Cred: Me || Song: Love he Way You Lie, Eminem || Words: 707 Dx || Tag: Carter